How Much Can Change In A Year

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Well.

One year ago today, I graduated from high school and began an entirely new journey.  

I must say, this year at Wesleyan has been of more worth to me than my three years of high school combined.

Today, one of my very favorite PKs graduated.

She has gone through many trials and tribulations this year, but she’s come out stronger and I couldn’t be prouder of her.

She’s only moving to Atlanta, so I can still stalk her. 🙂

 I have learned so much over the past year.

The biggest thing I have learned is that it’s okay to stand up for yourself.

Wesleyan encourages its students to be fully independent people who aren’t afraid to be good advocates for themselves.

With all the stuff I’ve been through and will go through, I think this is an important point to keep in mind.

I had to stand up for myself about a week ago.

I felt TERRIBLE.

I thought I was being mean, or vindictive, but Lyssavic assured me this person deserved it.

All the kept going through my head after I sent that text is this.

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Yes, I am the Harry Potter nerd I look to be.

I stood up for myself, and because of that, I learned that it doesn’t always end with people chewing you out telling you you suck, as it has so many times for me.

One year ago, I NEVER would have done anything like this. 

But because of the strong women I have been surrounded by since August, I have learned that I have worth and that it’s okay to be a good advocate for myself.

And that, Wesleyan, I can never thank you enough for.

–aub–

Oh and just for kicks, here’s the number one song from this time last year, just to keep with the theme. 🙂

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I’d Like to Know You For A Long Time

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This week is a particularly hard one. 

Yesterday, in addition to being Little Bro’s birthday (7?! What?! I’m not old enough for this!) was the first anniversary of my grandmother getting to where she was going, in the words of Dolly Parton and Brad Paisley.

It’s been hard to be away from my family for all this. 

And then today, in the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru, there was a blue F150 in line behind me. 

Looked just like my dad’s.

I literally had to look twice, my first thought was, “Oh, I wonder if that’s him”

and then

“oh. wait. never mind.”

and then the tears.

 

I’m sure the guy taking my money was very intrigued.

I immediately craved Fort Valley. 

I wanted to be with my big brother and cry.

Unfortunately, we live in separate states, and life prevents both of us from just getting in the car and driving to the other one.

 

The hardest part, to me, is not knowing the relationship we could have had.

I don’t remember any of the bad stuff anymore.

Just the times we had tea parties, he painted my nails, and we drove around the peach orchards and went swimming.

Then, the hard times came, and we “grew apart” I guess?

 

Everyone always said that we’d grow back together, and we have, just not in the way I would’ve liked.

 

Death is not my preferred way of strengthening a relationship.

 

Today, after I posted my CFA breakdown on Facebook, I was amazed.

My favorite thing about Wesleyan is the stuff like what happened today that happens.

One of Mama’s classmates, a Perfect Purple Knight of ’90 commented offering me grace and love.

That’s what real sisterhood is about. 

I can’t wait to offer advice and grace to future Pirates, PKs, GKs, and Hearts. 

I found out yesterday that I am an Orientation Leader this year. 

I was so excited. 

I get to hang out and be a support to PKs of 2018. 

Wesleyan, I’d like to know you for a long time. You make me a better person.

–aub–