I’d Like to Know You For A Long Time

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This week is a particularly hard one. 

Yesterday, in addition to being Little Bro’s birthday (7?! What?! I’m not old enough for this!) was the first anniversary of my grandmother getting to where she was going, in the words of Dolly Parton and Brad Paisley.

It’s been hard to be away from my family for all this. 

And then today, in the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru, there was a blue F150 in line behind me. 

Looked just like my dad’s.

I literally had to look twice, my first thought was, “Oh, I wonder if that’s him”

and then

“oh. wait. never mind.”

and then the tears.

 

I’m sure the guy taking my money was very intrigued.

I immediately craved Fort Valley. 

I wanted to be with my big brother and cry.

Unfortunately, we live in separate states, and life prevents both of us from just getting in the car and driving to the other one.

 

The hardest part, to me, is not knowing the relationship we could have had.

I don’t remember any of the bad stuff anymore.

Just the times we had tea parties, he painted my nails, and we drove around the peach orchards and went swimming.

Then, the hard times came, and we “grew apart” I guess?

 

Everyone always said that we’d grow back together, and we have, just not in the way I would’ve liked.

 

Death is not my preferred way of strengthening a relationship.

 

Today, after I posted my CFA breakdown on Facebook, I was amazed.

My favorite thing about Wesleyan is the stuff like what happened today that happens.

One of Mama’s classmates, a Perfect Purple Knight of ’90 commented offering me grace and love.

That’s what real sisterhood is about. 

I can’t wait to offer advice and grace to future Pirates, PKs, GKs, and Hearts. 

I found out yesterday that I am an Orientation Leader this year. 

I was so excited. 

I get to hang out and be a support to PKs of 2018. 

Wesleyan, I’d like to know you for a long time. You make me a better person.

–aub–

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