Well hello there.

Long time, no see. I think since my last post I graduated college, graduated law school, got married, and most recently had my sweet little boy this past July.

As I’ve been thinking about where I’d like to see myself in 2024, this blog has been knocking on the back door of my mind. I’ve kept the website all these years, even did a redesign a few years ago when I thought I was ready to “come back.” But the timing never seemed right, until I had my son. Shortly after he was born, my own mama wrote a beautiful post on her blog, I Might Need a Nap, about his birth. In my freshly postpartum state, I was already grateful for her words and her account of that life-changing night. I realized just how precious her blog had become to me. When she began posting, I was not even 16 years old. In moments of grief, I’ve been able to return to her page and read about times when both of my grandparents were still living. It’s been particularly helpful since having a baby to go back and read about my “old” self — in the words of my favorite girl, Taylor Swift, “I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it.”

Don’t get me wrong, motherhood has been the most amazing journey. I am so in love with this sweet little face and his big personality, but I realize now why my mama loves her writing — it’s hers. While, yes, I read everything she writes, it’s a place where she’s just Tara. Not Auburn, Taite, and Kurt’s mom, not little guppy’s ChefEvelynBirdieDot, not the director of a dance studio. Just her. It’s a precious commodity to know yourself, and that’s something I’ve always appreciated about her. My siblings and I used to tease her so much for being “in the zone” when she would blog, but I get it now (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said those words since having a baby – perspective is everything). In order for her to be the best mama she could be, and she absolutely is, she had to pour into herself first. It’s like the airplane oxygen mask situation. I’m hoping that by putting my thoughts to this virtual paper, I can pour into myself so I can be the best mama fish for my little guppy.

I promise I didn’t write this as an advertisement for her blog (although you should go read it). I am realizing that I’m more like her than I realized and as my therapist says, I’m a lawyer – I deal in words. I’m hoping this blog can become a place that my little one (or maybe little ones one day) can look back and read the stories of the early years of our family (like how I’m somehow typing this while he nurses). I guess this is my little wave at this corner of the internet to say “hi, I think I’m coming back, and I hope you’ll stick around.” If this little guy’s personality at five months old is any indication, there will be lots of antics I’ll need to document. 🙂

aub.