Self reliance is a big thing in college.
And I’m struggling, y’all.
Not with the whole feeding myself thing. I can do that. It’s the being sick and not being able to curl up in my Mama’s bed and watch Harry Potter.
And the not being able to convince the ‘rents to take us out to dinner. I have a dining hall now.
I miss it.
But perhaps the hardest part is that Mama has no idea who my friends are. I will mention a name and she’s like “Now which one is this?”
And it’s nothing against her. It’s just different. I miss the days of Mama dropping me off at play dates that turned into sleepovers.
I’m not entirely sure what to do with all this freedom.
I mean, studying takes up all of my time as it is, but when people invite me to dinner I find myself texting Mama to see if it’s okay and if I’ve done enough work to take a break.
I’m trying to please everyone. And I’ve sort of forgotten about myself. So yeah, say I’m happy with a B on a quiz. That’s all that really matters. I’m the one that knows how much I studied and how hard the quiz was.
I’m happy with myself as Auburn. But not as a college student. I constantly text Mama to get assurance that I’m making the right decisions. It’s hard.
So that’s what I leave you with tonight. Be good enough for yourself in every aspect of your life, that’s what I’m going to try to do this week.
Also, if you’re around my way this weekend, I’m staying in campus and may need some reprieve. 😉 I’ll buy the coffee!