I’ve Been Changed for Good

Standard

I’ve spent a lot of time here posting and reveling about the strong women I know that go here, went here, or teach here, and this post will be no exception.

Only this time, I’m gonna talk about me.

I knew that this place held a sort of magic within its walls.

But I never dreamed that it would work on me.

Growing up, I thought that humility=not thinking highly of yourself. However, even once I learned that that is not the case, I still felt inferior to those around me–too fat, not pretty enough, too much of a nerd, and all that terrible stuff.

Yes, I know now that even if any of those things are true, they make me who I am and I should own it.

I don’t have to apologize anymore.

A long, long time ago, I was in a relationship.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking, 16 year old relationships are doomed simply because of what they are.

And yeah, I realize that now, but still.

I always felt like I needed to apologize for anything I said, did, or felt.

I wasn’t fond of pet names–he heard it as I didn’t care.

I went to the Hunger Games premiere with friends from school–I didn’t want to spend time with him.

Y’all, I apologized for everything, not being in public school, doing things for me, and even spending time with my family.

I was SO insecure, lost, and I didn’t feel like I was worthy of being someone’s girlfriend.

Now, just in the past week of being here, I am a completely different person.

I am confident enough now to be someone’s girlfriend, best friend, and star student–I can be whoever I want.

I choose my own destiny.

I am my own White Knight.

Wesleyan has done that for me.

This was back in March, toward the end of my senior year.

This was back in March, toward the end of my senior year.

This was today, a very good day.

This was today, a very good day.

That girl up top, yeah, she might look like me, but she isn’t me.

I know that I will still have hard days, but feeling good feels good.

I love y’all.

Be worthy.

–aub–

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “I’ve Been Changed for Good

  1. Gurleen

    Awww Auby! I am so happy to hear that you are embracing the change that college is bringing in your life. It’s only been a week and you have experienced so much. This next year is going to fly by so please try to enjoy it in the moment. You will always look back on your dorm days and they way you handle the situations that arise right now is greatly going to affect the woman you grow into a from now. Good luck honey and please let me know I can help you with anything. I wanna come visit you so let me know what day works for you!

    Love you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s