I’ve spent a lot of time here posting and reveling about the strong women I know that go here, went here, or teach here, and this post will be no exception.
Only this time, I’m gonna talk about me.
I knew that this place held a sort of magic within its walls.
But I never dreamed that it would work on me.
Growing up, I thought that humility=not thinking highly of yourself. However, even once I learned that that is not the case, I still felt inferior to those around me–too fat, not pretty enough, too much of a nerd, and all that terrible stuff.
Yes, I know now that even if any of those things are true, they make me who I am and I should own it.
I don’t have to apologize anymore.
A long, long time ago, I was in a relationship.
Yes, I know what you’re thinking, 16 year old relationships are doomed simply because of what they are.
And yeah, I realize that now, but still.
I always felt like I needed to apologize for anything I said, did, or felt.
I wasn’t fond of pet names–he heard it as I didn’t care.
I went to the Hunger Games premiere with friends from school–I didn’t want to spend time with him.
Y’all, I apologized for everything, not being in public school, doing things for me, and even spending time with my family.
I was SO insecure, lost, and I didn’t feel like I was worthy of being someone’s girlfriend.
Now, just in the past week of being here, I am a completely different person.
I am confident enough now to be someone’s girlfriend, best friend, and star student–I can be whoever I want.
I choose my own destiny.
I am my own White Knight.
Wesleyan has done that for me.
That girl up top, yeah, she might look like me, but she isn’t me.
I know that I will still have hard days, but feeling good feels good.
I love y’all.