Today has been really, really hard.
I’ve only seen Mama for five minutes the entire time I’ve been here.
And yes, I know that there are international students here whose families live forever away, but I’m speaking for me.
Even if my feelings are dumb or wussy, they’re no less real.
I want to go home.
Even just for a day.
I’ve never gone more than two weeks without seeing my mom and living at home.
I cannot begin to tell you how deeply my heart aches to see her.
I’ve been driving her nuts with the tears, I know.
I know she loves me, and that this is different for her too.
I miss the Crays.
The Yoda-voices Little Man used to do at the most random times ever.
Sissy knowing exactly what to say when I felt bad.
I miss the togetherness.
The pajama days.
The days I would babysit and we’d watch every Barbie movie there ever was.
It was home.
And now, being here is a completely different experience–not a bad one by any means–but I crave my family. (We’re a very close-knit, not open to outsiders kind of people)
This will never be home-home, but for now, it’s where I am.
And just so you all know what kind of mother ‘Dre is, she sent me this tonight when I told her I felt bad.